By A Bonilla
With the Levi Johnston interview on Tyra Banks' show, the issue of-abstinence-is once again on trial. The prevailing verdict is that it doesn't work. The high profile youthful pregnancies of people like Jaime Lynn Spears, Brittany's sister and Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's daughter would appear to prove the ineffectiveness of the-abstinence-message. The young women who became pregnant were portrayed as wholesome young ladies from families that supported the-abstinence-until marriage message. Yet in spite of the strong culture of responsible sexuality these young women and many like them are becoming pregnant in their teens, and are single mothers.
The assumption is that these young women were not protected by the education that is provided through comprehensive sexual education. That education, when provided by competent educators would teach a young person about the dangers of sexual activity without the use of protection. It would allow them to make informed decision about their choice of birth control, and would empower them so that they are not hampered by an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Because their families were such strong supporters of the abstinence until marriage message, it is further assumed that the young women may have engaged in sex without protection because of shame, or naiveté.
These assumptions are challenged however by several factors. Just the general knowledge that is easily assessable to teens and young women today makes it highly unlikely, unless they are raised in a commune cut off from the world at large, that they are unaware of the purpose and use of birth control. Secondly, these young women and their partners were not under constant guard (secret service, paparazzi); they were able to purchase condoms and other forms of birth control if they were so inclined. There may be some truth to the belief that knowledge that these young women were engaging in sexual activity would not be greeted with acceptance in their families, however, there are no grounds to believe that their families would have responded by disowning or in anyway harshly disciplining them. To our knowledge neither of these families followed Sharia law, so these young women had no basis to expect anything more than parental disappointment, and perhaps initial anger. In addition to all the above, there is always the expectation that there may have been some education provided in an academic setting. After all they still have the health curriculum that tells students how children are born and the dangers of contracting sexually transmitted diseases?
The snippet of the Tyra Banks show that I was able to see showed Tyra asking the probing question about the use of birth control. Levi answered the way most knowledgeable people answer. He started off stating that he and Bristol used birth control and were consistent about it. Tyra, skeptical, challenged his reply and asked about the use of birth control again. It was only after a third attempt on her part to break his story that he revealed that it was most of the time as opposed to all the time, in other words they were not consistent. What does that mean; it means that we cannot blame the condom for this pregnancy. But it also means that we cannot blame the abstinence message either. Abstinence didn't fail this couple, and probably didn't fail Jaime Lynn either. They had been given the information about abstinence until marriage, and they had also received information about the use of birth control. They made a choice to forgo the abstinence message in favor of the one that says don't engage in unprotected sex. They however were not able to keep up with the adult responsibility of remaining consistent about the use of contraceptives. Even adults have difficulty being consistent with important things; the only difference is that most are in a position to handle the subsequent consequences of these adult choices. Unmarried teenagers generally are not.
The abstinence message is not about taking away a young person's choices, nor is it about restricting their life and potential happiness. Quite the opposite! It's about protecting their future by keeping open all their options. A pregnant teen's options are significantly narrowed. And sexual activity outside of marriage, while providing short term gratification, invites long term consequences that few teens are prepared for. A seventeen year old who becomes a parent and chooses to parent their child is looking at minimally 18 years of putting her child first. That is if she plans to parent in a healthy way. That brings her to thirty five, and only if that first child is not followed by several others. Though thirty five cannot be considered old by any measure, achieving that age while parenting means that the persons' twenties are not about finding themselves but about caring and meeting the needs of their child(ren). The abstinence message recognizes that a young person's health, dreams, and future are important and it offers the only 100% guaranteed means of providing protection against an unwanted pregnancy and STD. No other program of education can make that claim. One thing is certain however, neither program is effective if not followed consistently as Levi and many others in his position have found out.
Allison Bonilla MSW, LCSW
Awareness Counseling Center
2425 S. Volusia Ave. Ste. B-4
Orange City Fl. 32763
(386) 774-1330
http://www.awarenesscounseling.com
http://sanityinsight.blogspot.com/
Allison Bonilla has been in private practice for 10 years in Orange City, Florida. She has been in the field of Social Work for over 20 years. Her experience includes working with children and families in crisis situations, through governmental agencies. She has been a presenter at various professional conferences. She also volunteers with her local church. Her Masters in Social Work was obtained at Adelphi University in New York. She is a Licensed Master of Social Work in New York State, and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Florida.
She is a professional Christian Counselor who successfully integrates a biblical world view with psychological theories in an attempt to assist her clients achieve optimal health. Her approach is holistic, with a strong slant towards Cognitive Behavioral theories. Allison Bonilla is a member of the North American Association of Christians in Social Work, and National Association of Social Workers.
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